This is me: Why self-awareness is a kid superpower
‘Finding yourself is a concept we’re all familiar with as adults.
It might make you think of teens heading off on their gap year travels or even a mid-life crisis!
But did you know that the process of finding our true selves actually begins not long after we are born?
Helping babies and young children to establish their sense of self is important for their self-esteem, confidence and emotional wellbeing throughout life.
Let’s take a look at what self-awareness means, and why it’s a kid superpower!
What is self-awareness?
Self-awareness means developing the ability to observe oneself and become aware of your own personality, thoughts, feelings and reactions.
But this isn’t something kids learn overnight. Self-awareness is built up gradually over time, beginning when your child is just a baby.
When do kids become self-aware?
At birth, a newborn baby has very little self-awareness. In fact, until the age of about 6 months, your baby doesn’t know that they are a separate person from you! The beginning of self-awareness is the reason babies often ‘make strange’, or cry when you leave the room, around this age.
After the age of six months, most babies begin exploring the world around them. They begin to grab everything. They roll, shuffle and crawl. They begin to venture away from you to explore the world around them while checking back that you are still there. Their little personalities start to shine through!
As your baby discovers the world, they also learn about their relationship to that world. A major milestone often occurs around 18-24 months, when your baby learns to recognise themselves in the mirror.
Why is self-awareness important?
Self-awareness is a key skill because if we aren’t aware of our emotions, then we can’t manage them. Becoming self-aware helps children learn to stop and think before they react. Later, it enables them to compare their emotions and behaviour against their developing awareness of what is right and wrong.
Self-awareness can help your child understand three important things about themselves that will help them cope with challenges now, and in later life:
1. I am me
Developing self-awareness can be a bumpy ride. The period from 18 months to 3 years is often described as ‘the terrible twos’. During this time, children are constantly trying out new things and developing their sense of self very quickly. They want to explore the world independently. They are developing their own likes and dislikes – and they’re not usually shy about letting you know! Tantrums and stubborn behaviour are very common at this age, as small children begin to assert their newfound selves.
This behaviour can be frustrating, but it’s an important part of your child’s emotional development. They are learning ‘this is me’, realising they can influence the world around them, and that their actions have consequences. It’s important to let them experiment and explore, while also teaching boundaries. The things they discover will help them to gradually understand that their words and deeds can impact on situations and people.
2. I can do hard things
As your toddler grows, they’ll begin to experiment with new skills. Running, jumping, climbing, drawing, reading, waiting, helping – they’ll want to try it all! Some things will come naturally, and other things they’ll have to work on. Some children will be keen and fearless, while others will be hesitant.
The messages children receive at this time in their lives – from you and from others – will influence how they see themselves. They begin to develop a sense of not only ‘this is who I am’ but also ‘this is what I’m good at’.
Encouragement and praise for things they are trying to do is important at this stage because it helps your child to develop a sense of their own capabilities, and also the belief that they can improve and succeed by persevering, even when something is not easy on the first try. This is known as a ‘growth mindset’, which is important for setting and achieving goals in later life.
3. I am enough
As your toddler becomes a preschooler, they will begin to realise that their ‘self’ is different from other children – not just physically, but in terms of likes, dislikes and abilities.
At this age, they may experience a feeling of being different, and possibly even some negativity from their peers, for the first time. Encouragement and reassurance from trusted adults continue to be really important as kids learn that it’s OK to be yourself – and that you are good enough - even if you don’t look the same, or enjoy the same things as your friends.
As well as being the foundation of self-esteem and self-confidence, this awareness is a building block for empathy – the ability to understand how others may be feeling. Empathy helps children to read and understand other people’s emotions, making them more socially aware. This is an important skill for establishing and maintaining positive relationships in the future. It’s also an important building block for understanding diversity - that people may look and act differently, but they deserve the same empathy and respect.
Sociemo provides families with expert-curated, age-appropriate stories and reading materials chosen specifically to help build core emotional skills, like self-awareness. Sign up today for help raising happy, switched-on kids!